It took twelve hours this time…….

So there I was enjoying the holiday when the news from Los Angeles came through. I was surprised by how I felt: shocked but not really that shocked. What shocked me most was the fact that I felt genuinely…. sad. My head had told me that there was no way he was gonna be able to do the fifty gigs at the O2, but my heart had hoped he could. On a human level,I hoped that there would be redemption for him: as, I suppose, we all hope that each one  of us, no matter how far we’ve fallen, can at some point and in some way be redeemed. But now that there was no chance of that. He was dead and if I’m to be honest here, I think I may have cried a little: but not, and it shames me to admit it, for him, but for me, for life and how fleeting it really is.

The next morning I realised that the only one of his songs I had on my iPod was Human Nature, so along with half the world (if the download charts are any indicator) I downloaded a compilation and found both Ben and, in particular, Man in the Mirror peculiarly affecting. My sister Fiona is over from Chicago and we were having lunch when it happened…..

By it I mean the first jokes started popping up in our phone text inboxes.

Why is it that every time there is any disaster or shocking death some mean-spirited cyberjester disseminates their cruel ‘wit’ before the bodies are even cold on the slab? Who is it? is it one person? Is it an evil collective? What is their problem?

Before any justifiable accusations of rank hypocrisy are levelled at me I must rush to admit that I’m the first person to enjoy an outre joke. Humour is a great mirror and in times of adversity it is, for me at least, an unsurpassable coping mechanism. But I also feel that for humour to be great it should be tempered with taste and, in cases like this, just a little bit of compassion. Otherwise it’s just hateful. And if you say why? why? I’ll tell you that is Human Nature.

Mike

I’ve mentioned many times before that one of my favourite aspects of giving English classes at London’s coolest language school is finding out where words come from. What is particularly interesting is when you discover that the meaning of a word has completely changed since it was first coined and ’snob’ which is used to describe people who tend to look down on those from lower social ranks, or those who have an inordinate admiration for money or status is a good case in point.

Apparently the word snob was originally an acronym developed when the wealthy merchant classes started to send their children to university:once the sole province of the aristocracy. When results were published the toffs would have their title (be it Marquis or Earl or whatever) in brackets after their names. However, the people who were their by virtue of their family’s money, rather than any berth in Burke’s Peerage had their titles written ‘S Nob’ which stood for Sin Nobilitat – to denote that they were not to the manor born.

I was reminded of this over the balmy weekend we’ve just enjoyed. I can’t afford to be a snob, so I don’t bother, but I do fear that I would be one – had I only the means. Take supermarkets for example. I would dearly love to do my family’s weekly shopping in the huge Waitrose in Kensington, but it’s simply too expensive. On the other hand, I wouldn’t be caught dead  in my local Netto supermarket, where the food may be cheap, but the ingredients label should say,’ You really don’t wanna know.’

Therefore, I go to Morrison’s. It’s fine, it suits my purpose.

On Saturday, however, I was in there with my little boy in order to pick up some bits and bobs and as usual, Johnny was garnering all sorts of attention and playing up for those who said hello to him. Really, the guy is a pro and I was admiring his skills at ‘Working the checkout,’ when the skinheaded, England-shirted, England-tattooed shopper to my left struck up a conversation.

- ‘E’s a lahverly li’ol boi-innee? ‘ow oldsee?

Of course I wasn’t sure if this was a test, so I made sure I Cockneyed up my accent good ‘n propah in order to reply.

- E’s nearly two, innit?

- Lord E’s massive!

- Yeah ver li’l beggah’s eatin’ us aht’ve ouse n howm!

-Bless! all ‘e needsis an eawing…

An earring! I do not think so, but I smiled as if enraptured by the thought in case my new best friend suspected, even for an instant, that I felt this wasn’t quite the greatest sartorial tip I’d ever received.

Maybe, I said.

Maybe not, I thought.

Mike

Hello everybody. I hope you met our new social programme co-ordinator David when he visited Shepherd’s Bush last week. If not, he has asked me to tell you about two great parties to celebrate the end of term. This Saturday 20th, Sean is hosting an 80s fancy dress party in The Square Pig in Holborn. There will be prizes for the best costumes and the  music goes on til 1.

Meanwhile in Shepherd’s Bush, Silvia is hosting The MIdsummer Night’s Dream garden Party in Goldhawk Road. There will be live music, DJs and a pound a beer promotion. All this happens on Thursday night (18th), the night you get your holidays . Both events only cost a fiver and I hope to see you at one of them!

Ana Maria

Hi guys,

I have received a lot of emails recently from students asking to change class. I always do my best to put you in the class you want. Sometimes this is not possible.

If you only want to change time, this is very easy. If you want to change centre, this is sometimes a little difficult.  Sometimes it is not possible as we share the levels between centres at different times of the day. So one level which is available at one time in Holborn, may not be available at the same time in Shepherd’s Bush.

if you want to change level, you need to do the level test in reception and ask either Anamaria, Branca, David, Eny or Evaldo to stamp it and email it to me. I won’t accept any requests to change level during the last two weeks of any course.

WHAT TO DO….

If you do want to change your class( for any reason ), please email me with your ID number (or date of birth) in the subject. Tell me class you are in, and which class you want to change to. I also need the reason.

The email address for class changes is students@the-englishstudio.com

Cheers

Stuart

June arrives and I always breathe a sigh of relief: not just because it’s only by then that I can be sure I’ve fully survived winter and managed to bring my sorry carcass through another year, but because it also heralds the Great British Summer – ah yes, sand in the sandwiches, wasps in the tea, jellied eels on a cyclone- lashed Brighton Pier, and muddy wellington boots on the canvas and floors of despair-filled tents and caravans  from John O’ Groats to Land’s End. Wait a minute…..it’s not 1978 -it’s 2009, a golden age where global warming guarantees you a sizzling season of barbecues, pink sunsets and drowned polar bears washing up on the beaches; just chuck them on the barbie and party on!

That is, of course, if you’re not doing one of the Cambridge exams.If you are – well it’s sackcloth and ashes for you! It’s impossible to relax when the exam looms: a massive ugly old toad squatting on your brain, its slimy amphibious bum tickling your defiled  and outraged cerebellum. Your friends are going to the pub, but you know you have to practise writing reports, they’re showing the first two parts of The Godfather on Channel 4 but you have agreed to go on a date with someone who thinks it’s hilarious to belch, cabbage-breathed mid-sentence and whom, naturally, you find utterly repulsive – just to develop your listening skills (and because you’re hungry, having spent all your cash on private classes and past exam papers). Oh God, now I remember why I breathe a sigh of relief when june comes, I’m not the one doing the exam!

But then again, I’m not totally  immune to exam stress. After all, I am the general who is sending them into battle and I know that, metaphorically, some of them won’t return. Good luck guys, as I sit in the glorious sunshine, sipping on a cool drink and munching a polar bear burger, I will be thinking of you.

Mike

Summer is quite a different time for us here at the school- our year-round students are joined by many students on short-term courses, and the whole school takes on more of a ’summer school’ feel. We don’t use books during summer, so the teachers are desgining syllabi which will be practical, useful in real life, and fun. Our long-term students in the morning session (our busiest!) also have tyhe chance to take a summer break for July and August if they wish- if you’d like to know more baout that, pop in and see us at reception.

Rob

Hey guys,

Just to let you know that the visa application form has been changed (again). So if you are sending your applications soon, please check that you have the June 2009 version not March 2009.

You can get a copy of the form at this link:

http://www.ukba.homeoffice.gov.uk/sitecontent/applicationforms/pbs/tier4applicationform

I have updated the application guide so that it includes the latest changes. If you would like a copy, email me and I’ll send it to you.

Also, feel free to email me any questions regarding the form at stuart@the-englishstudio.com

Cheers

Stuart

Planes fly over Acton all the time

They’re comforting,

The roar of their engines made mute by distance and sky

They speak of the future

Plans. Holidays.

Romantic trips to Paris

All over in a flash

Another plane flies over Acton

I stamp my feet lightly

On solid ground

Mike

Oh dear oh dear. As the rest of us are enjoying the Mediterranean sunshine, those of you doing Cambridge exams know that the clock is slowly ticking down towards the big day and – as I’m sure you discovered last week, the speaking exams are on next Monday and Tuesday! Ouch!

Well, there’s no avoiding it, so it’s time to make sure that this last week of practice counts. Remember that for the individual long turn you need to get the task completed insisde one minute. You should therefore be practising with a stopwatch so that you have an idea of ‘what a minute feels like’

Also, you must bear in mind that the type of tasks has changed. No longer can you be guaranteed that they will merely ask you for a description, com parison or contrast: the questions are more specific now so make sure you listen to the examiner and try to answer exactly what you have been asked.

For part three, you really need to be doing some work with your chosen partner for the exam. Remember that as well as language they will be assessing your turntaking skills so try to make sure that you don’t exceeed twenty seconds before eliciting what your partner says.

Finally, try to avoid the classic mistakes such as ‘On this picture,’ instead of ‘In this picture,’ or using the present simple to describe a photo instead of the present continuous.

But above all, keep talking. Silence is not golden;it’s grey and ulcerous and costs you points.

Mike